The Weekly Comet 67 (comments and criticisms...well we don’t really care anymore)

Share

Special Update Edition!

National News Alert: members of the DA have concluded special efforts should be made in attempt to save several artists from their phobias of dams. This rare fear has managed to manifest in the artist’s music, causing said singers to suddenly sing “DAM” in the middle of their otherwise perfectly legitimate songs. The L.K.S has been chosen to head up the music industry aid project, (operation Never Occupy Dollops of Applesauce Marrying Sausage Narwhals (NODAMNS.)) They have started resolving the issue by destroying all dams in America, Switzerland and possibly China. When asked about their operation goals, the L.K.S stated:

”We still haven’t worked out the Chinese tunneling issues.”

NO BEAVERS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ARTICLE.

...

Disclaimer: The T.W.C does not support and is in no way affiliated with the sudden decrease of the Beaver population in the Willamette Valley.

 

Rumour Column

Blond...James Blond hair flip

Joel’s helmet is in fact an exact replica of one item in the DA’s helmet collection...or is it?

Is someone getting married?

A new rapper has been rocking the nation with their gymnastic abilities. Stage name: limpy.

Read more