The Weekly Comet 62 (comments and criticism welcome)
Raffle Champion
Guess what? Micah D. won the lottery!!
Okay, okay, so maybe it was just the Raffle that the sensational Faith D.'s dance team was putting on, but still, 1,00 dollars in gift cards from places all around Albany isn't too different. The drawling was held last night during Faith's dance practice. All 6,975 tickets were mixed into a tub and, low and behold, Micah's ticket was drawn.
Upon hearing the news, Faith almost fell off her chair (before remembering that she didn't have a chair to fall off.) Dance coach Ashley Custis read the ticket to herself before saying those all to familiar words "Oh, it's a DeVyldere," and Faith got to take the whole poster board home to surprise Micah with it at family dinner. If you're reading this Micah, it means we already gave it to you and I would like to thank you for donating towards my dance funds so...thanks! (Also, there might be a Dutch Bros gift card missing, the L.K.S went on a field trip today...)
Congrats Micah!!!
2.
Sign Stealers' Shenanigans
Any shred of order we in the Mid-Willamette Valley may or may not have had has been ripped away from us in this newest event concerning someone(s) rearranging signs all over the tri-state area!
I know what you're thinking: "Wasn't this a while ago and therefore not considered "news"?" And yes, yes it was, but I think it's important that we cover a broader scope of news including things that happen not just in our house, but in our beloved city, Tangent (the grass seed capitol of the world, (not to brag)) and the cities surrounding it. So, without further to do, I give you the info. on the great Sign Stealers' Shenanigans:
It was a dark and rainy day when it happened. (Actually we're not exactly sure what days it happened (we believe the days to be sometime in the middle of last month) but, (being Oregon and all) they were most-likely rainy/dark, so we'll go with that.) Anyway, the shenanigans occurred at night in three separate locations: One of the Burger Kings in Corvallis, the Tangent Community Church, and the Corvallis Sports Center and Storage.
Although they have yet to apprehend the criminal behind this inconceivable plot, we know that our signs are safe now that the capricious L.K.S detective branch has taken up the case saying (and I quote) "We will not rest, until the culprit i-SQUIRREL!!!" And, let's be honest, who wouldn't be assured by that?
We managed to apprehend 2 out of four of the pictures taken at the scene of the crime:
A special Sarah story!!!!
"One day, they said, one day. What it meant I don't know, but there was something about that day, that one day, something special. It was like everyone knows what it is, that day, but maybe you will find out what it is, one day, one day.
I want to thank Jewel, Ezra,and Keturah for inspiring that poem
Benanya
Many of you out there may be wondering, "What on earth is a Benanya?" A ninja nun? A mutant banana grown exclusively in the Philippines on the tippy top of Kilimanjaro and sold commercial for a dollar fifty or tres euros, as our miss informed foreign expert (The Swedish chef) claims? Sadly, non of these can describe the thing that is now Benanya (copy right pending.) Benanya has been classified as the (almost) official celebrity couple name of Benny bun-bun the boss and Tanya.
Yes! The rumors were true for once! And though some people (the L.K.S) say they've seen it coming for months, most critics say they were caught unaware and are not sure how Benanya skipped through whale friend status to almost official status with no official facebook notice! Nonetheless, Benny publicly announced it in the DeVyldere household this week with great "enthusiasm," and when asked if he had anything to say, Benny replied by saying "It was all due to my full time job this summer as the district manger of college works dating." In this job Ben brought together several young naive college children to paint and date, as stated in there motto "If you can't date it, paint it." (copy write pending.)
Rumor column;
Benanya had history and chemistry together at LBCC
Captain America goes to Tangent elementary and a certain young short one has been spotted talking to him on multiple occasions. (The L.K.S refuses to release any details of the ongoing investigation but all persons of interest are warned to steer clear of 2019 Quail Run around 12:00. "For their best interest and ours," Stated L.K.S spokes man Ezra James "Less witnesses, Less clean up!"
Ben is dating Tanya (Unofficially)
Elijah is the new district manager of college works dating.
Tim Rist should be here right about....now. Due to his brownie powered portal. (For those of you not reading this from the DeVyldere abode. Follow these steps: Step 1: go into your kitchen. Step 2: close your eyes and turn right. Step 3: take 4 steps to your left. Step 5: picture us all laughing at you because chances are your ran into something. Step 5: make brownies. Step 6: eat the brownie and wonder why because Tim can't even come and get the brownies due to the lack of portals in your house. Ya, don't you wish you were here?)
A certain young Russian person has been spotted using the word "boyfriend", but even though the extremely awesome journalist asked her to elaborate, there was no comment.
Sports update:
(Brought to you by College works dating; the only painting company that pairs you with a painting buddy, for life!)
Rachel and Grace won their soccer game last night (with Grace pulling off a spectacular header) and have games on Friday at 4:00 and Tuesday at 4:00.
Faith had B-ball tryouts on Sunday and is (anxiously) awaiting the results. Faith also had her first dance performance last last week. (Ya, it was awesome.)
