The Weekly Comet 60 (comments and criticisms welcome)

1.

Hannah Leaves Home

(A consequentially true story by Faith D.)

Last Thursday, our cherished sister Hannah D. left our humble abode to attend college for yet another year (ya, apparently that's an annual thing now) a week before her school actually started. The reason for this being that she needs the extra week to go through training to become what is called an "RA." Although the definition technically means a "College kid babysitter" we are still at a loss for what this acronym actually means our best guesses being either "Rhododendron Arm-wrestler" or "Radioactive Antelope." As for the training she is undergoing, well, here's what she said when interviewed:

"During RA training," (which, by the way, we still have no idea what that means) "we went through an extremely intense and life threatening ropes course, in which we suspended ourselves twenty feet off the ground, and used trust to build relationships. We also were forced to sleep on the ground outside in the snow, huddling together." (Which begs the question: Where did they get the snow?) "And then, in the morning, we woke hours before dawn to get into canoes and fish for our breakfast. The harpoons were not nearly large enough, and the swells threatened to overthrow our boats, but we managed."

(Rest assured, no Antelopes were harmed in the making of this story. The Rhododendrons though, now that's a different story....)

2.

Anonymous tip: The L.K.S + new experiment 33344112 = 'nough said.

Local Hannah Gets Car

Last Last Saturday, (or August 18th), Dad and Hannah D. went to Clackamas Oregon to check out an add from Craigslist and came back with a 2005 Ford Taurus, (AKA Hannah's first official car!) It;s features include and undefined color, a trunk that can fit up to 3 kids (we checked), and, perhaps the best of all, a sixth seat! I know, awesome right?! This car could very go down in the DeVyldere hall o' fame, except for one problem: it needs a name!

Think of Hannah right now, cruising around in her new car, feeling cool. But wait, she's suddenly conflicted because her car has no name! Help save Hannah's car by commenting what you think it should be named. And, just in case you wanted to see what the aforementioned car looks like, here's a pic:

Road trip to Cali.

Last Monday morning, Rachel, Grace and Faith D. drove with Hannah D. (in her new car!) to an undisclosed location in Halsey known as "the Villa" to meet up with Grandma D.. Sources say that this possibly conspicuous meeting was for the aforementioned Rachel, Grace and Faith to not only switch vehicles but to then proceed to embark on a six hour car ride to Redding California (pronounced Cali-for-nigh-A (for obvious reasons)) to visit our cousins the Farriers (AKA the Ferraros.) The three girls faced numerous challenges while in Cali. including (but not limited to) pumping their own gas, milking a goat, trying (an failing) to drink said goat milk, naming one of the Ferrier's (numerous) baby chickens ("Bunny Bun Bun the Boss...Junior,) and Lego Batman (Inside Joke.) But they still managed to stay alive well enough to swim, play multiple card games, create multiple card games, tan, eat pumpkin pie and pretty much have a blast. The result ended in an awesome vacation.

55 to stay alive

As I'm sure you might be aware, last Saturday was an important holiday in the DeVyldere household, the day our wonderful father (or as most of you know him, Dad D.) turned 55.

To celebrate this momentous occasion Dad got up at 5:00 am (as is second nature of early birds) and drove to not only one of the coffee shops in Portland, but the REI store in Keizer as well. When asked what he wanted to do with his 55th year Dad replied (among other things) to scare more kids, which is exactly what he did while enjoying the evening portion of his birthday at Otter Beach. Eye witnesses say that he tends to sneak up on you when you least expect it, scare the living daylights out of you, and then, by the time you regain consciousness, he's already gone.

(Note: Theoretically speaking, some of the eye witnesses described in the story above may or may not have been under the influence of a dangerously high amount of snow cones (as was distributed at the pool) and therefore may not hold up in a kid court of law...maybe)

Word of  the day: "Hiplet"

Definition: A baby Hippo

Description: Cute

Origin: Grace D.

3.

(Third page entirely written by Grace D.)

           "Long live the prez!" and "Good day Mr. President!" echoed down the halls of Linfield College in the humble town of Mcminnville, Oregon, as triple A-ron (peters trending) strolled through them after his recent victory for student body president against Mackenzie Larson.

            Despite Ogle's cleverly achieved title as physics club president, Ogle's competition for the seat was eating dust when the preliminary numbers rolled out showing Larson (134) Ogle (214). The L.K.S, though, is still puzzled over that, since an anonymous source reported geeky math campaign posters for Ogle's cause. The witness also reported quite the confusion with the posters even though she herself is a physics geek, not to mention she's currently dating one! The plot thickens still, when one wonders how this renegade physics geek was ever elected at a Liberal arts college...The L.K.S, (despite the confusion), has been able to discern that his political views may have something to do with his win, (one way or another.)

              Of course, rumors say whale saving seems to be the top of the agenda. Besides that though, he did mention something about wanting to leave an Impact on the community in a email to the Linfield Review.

   So watch out Linfield, you've got  a new president in town.

Ogle's profile pic:

Ooooooopppppppssss.................. well this is really embar--Funny.

Long live the Prez!

Sources:

http://thelinfieldreview.com/17697/the-rest/new-aslc-president-vp-look-toward-future/

Twitter.....................

Rumor Column

Rumors are being spread.

Aaron was unanimously or anonymously (the source wasn't sure what the difference was) elected vice president of the L.K.S.

The L.K.S is considerable closer to obtaining the right to arm bears.

The Glum Sisters were seen smiling in Egypt.

A Narwhal has the longest tooth of any whale.

 Thank you for reading The Weekly Comet! (And may I just say, it's good to be back!)