The Weekly Comet 58 (comments and critisisms welcome)
Rockin' Christmas Last last Thursday was the day that we (as slightly exaggerated by Dad D.) "Rocked Christmas." To tell the story of "the Christmas of 2014" correctly, I must start from the VERY beginning, which just happened to be at 5:00 am Thursday morning: At the previously stated time, the members of the L.K.S (except Keturah D.) emerged from their sleeping quarters (completely violating the rule of not being able to get up until 7:00 am) and gathered around the Christmas tree with the mass amount of presents underneath it. They stayed there excitedly, as, one at a time, more kids slowly emerged and added to the convocation. Pretty soon music was put on and the kids started putting their energy to work on making a noteworthy breakfast. (Beware: the following content is conceivably mouthwatering): This sensational breakfast consisted of Dad D.'s famous scrambled eggs, OJ, Greek yogurt w/ fruit, pepper bacon,regular bacon, blackberry muffins, and, like always, apple bread. (To describe this meal as "great" would be an enormous understatement.)
Then the real celebration began: After breakfast was cleaned up everyone started opening their stockings, followed by an hour and a half of present opening. (There's no need to go into detail but let's just say that half way through Ezra started swimming through the wrapping paper.) And afterwards we adjudicated to watch White Christmas, and then distributed to create and devour a delicious dinner with ham.
And that, was how we rocked Christmas.
The Birth of "Lyric" Sarah D.'s alleged roommate was allegedly reported missing. This paper was the only evidence found at the scene, it seems to be a page from some type of journal: January 5th, 2015
Yesterday my life was turned upside down when my roommate came home today with a tiny ball of screaming gray fur, which was later classified as a VERY small kitten by the name of "Lyric." Lyric has quickly squealed and pawed his way into not only my roommate's heart, but the hearts of almost everyone else in the household. In other completely unrelated news, I think I might have discovered the culprit behind the conspiracy to retaliate against the L.K.S for a country-wide incident in France, but I don't know how safe I am here, so just in case I don't make it, the culprit is the k-----.
(The L.K.S.C.D (Little Kids 'Sociation Cops Division) has yet to make sense of the intricate message and are considering getting help from the multiplication team, but spectators say they may be biased considering ring leader Sarah D.'s description of Lyric as a suspect: "Pitter-Paws wouldn't hurt a fly, except for that fly nest he sat on." (Inside Joke.) And now, cute pictures:
Come to "Jewbie's Gym!" To simply state that "Jewbie's Gym" is just a gym would clearly be an understatement. "But what," you might be asking yourself, "if not an actual gym, is "Jewbie's gym?" and the answer to that is simple, given simple means the exact opposite of what it means in the dictionary. So, in light of recent investigative work on the term "Jewbie's gym," I feel it would best be described with the following words from the manager herself: Jewbie D. says: "It's a place, where you go, to exercise, with an S. There's couches and pillows and you relax and then go to a real gym. Mine gets yo ready and says "go to "Jewbie's Gym"" and that's advertising. Also, when asked where "Jewbie's Gym" was, the community replied with the following many answers: Keturah: "Underground in the secret lair of the L.K.S." Ezra: " Washington." Jewel: "Nowhere." Grace: "Under Sarah's bed."
Which can only mean one thing: Jewbie is the first kid in the DeVyldere household to successfully start a franchise, and when met with this newly hatched information, Jewbie announced that she WILL be buying the legally required amount for what she called her new "Frenchfrise", and that she doesn't really have any idea of what a gym is.
Anonymous tip: Isaiah is the same age as pop star sensation "Tay' Swift"
Breaking world news: (from a most likely unreliable source): East and West Germany reunited to form the official country "Just Germany." Also, contrary to popular belief, the wall that separated them for over a quarter decade is still there but it is no longer guarded by trigger happy machine-gunists.
Sports update: Rachel and Grace D.continue to impress from their spots on the Varsity and JV teams, and Faith D. has her second tournament this weekend with her first game next week.
Rumor column The L.K.S is planning to kidnap Dad's new tent and use it as their new secret hideout, (since their last hideout hasn't been a secret since Keturah decided to blog everything she does.)
The L.K.S is also planning to take over the tri-state area with their new high tech. gadget thingy ipod-touch that Sarah got for her birthday. Happy B-day Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lyric is really just a small squirrel.
...Tune in next week for an I.B.T.S.W article, possibly a sneak peak on the trailer for the movie "The L.K.S Vs. Santa Claus," and much more.
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