The Weekly Comet 27 (comments and criticisms welcome)
News flash (Did you know) That Faith, Hannah, and Dad won their second game yesterday night? That the capital of Russia is Moscow? That Keturah is Making a one person band called "The Suzettes"? Now you know
Saric There are rumors going around that Sammi went on a date a little bit ago with an unknown species named "Eric Driscoll." So far, no one has been able to confirm these so called "tales", but all that is about to change, because we have fresh info. on the subject, coming from one of our top informers Hannah D.. Hannah says: "Sammi went on a date with a guy named Eric Driscoll last Friday. They went to see the movie "Frozen", and he did not use the cheesey yawn move on her, but if he did she would probably have laughed. Eric is an ex-marine who goes to OSU and has a job delivering newspapers which is how they met." However, no one except for Sammi has ever met this "Eric Driscoll" and he doesn't have a facebook (we checked). In light of these suspicious facts we have categorized him somewhere in between Fred and George (the somewhat imaginary DeVyldere children who live underneath the girl's room bunk bed), and Steve (Grandma D.'s hired hand.No one has ever met him but we can see his effects on the fields). Despite these suspicions, an emergency DeVyldere meeting was held and came to the conclusion that there would need to be a trial to try Sammi with lack of communication. As one prominent leader of the DeVyldere clan put it "We saw no application for courtship come through the system on the part of the Dater (Eric) or the Datee (Sammi)." The L.K.S. has launched a full investigation upon the request of the prosecution, Rachel D. Sarah commented on the L.K.S.'s progress saying it was taking it's time since he didn't have a Facebook. Sarah quickly reassured me they will be looking into Myspace and other social media outlets as possible sources. "We have a couple working theories at the moment" remarked Jewel Anne (The L.K.S. second in command). "One is the imaginary theory, and the other is that Eric is one of the British guy's who stayed on the Treehouses couch a couple months back. That would explain why he doesn't have a Facebook" she explained, referencing her knowledge of British social media.
More on the Trial to come.
Anonymous tip: Jewel and Keturah's stuffed bears are bigger than them.
What some of the witness's of this astonishing game have so say about it: Mom D. says: "Rachel's game was so exciting because she was the star. She played the whole time we watched, and 14 out of 22 of the points. Grandma DeVyldere was there and she enjoyed it, too, and they killed Woodburn." Dad D. says: "She was awesome!"
What Rachel has to say about it: Rachel says (translated by Hannah D.): "Basically I was just on the court, ballin' it up, and then Bam!! three pointer made by yours truly. But I played it cool, I was like 'Aw man, that was nothin' then I took the ball up the court and dunked it. Oh! And then we had tacos. Peace out, ballers!"
Rumor column S ammi went on a date with a guy that she hit in the head with a newspaper.The continued to ride off into the sunset on a camel name zachiri The Mid-nites are performing again in two weeks. The L.K.S is holding Taylor Swift captive for stealing Sarah's "look."
#StuffMarkBowsersays "I still have a hard time walking through corn fields at night"
"We could all sleep in our living room. Also, we should wear capes."
"If more knives like this miraculously appear It'll be good because we need more knives."
Photo gallery:
Sarah's clay baby dolphin
Grace's clay sculptures
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