The Weekly Comet 22 (comments and criticisms welcome)
An expose on Marka (however you want to spell it) Below is the email I sent to some of the older adopted, not adopted, or don't know they're adopted kids in our family, and below that is what they, in all seriousness, answered back." I need you to tell me everything you know about "Marka." What is it? Where is it? Is it a threat to our community? Is it related to the dynamic duo? Have you ever encountered it? Why is it? And any other details you have. Please answer all the questions above with detail, and I would appreciate it if you could get back to me as soon as possible. Thanks, T.W.C inc. staff What is it? "Marcah is a rare seaweed found exclusively in the 'Barracks region' of the attic sea. It is highly prized for it's high vitamin E content, and it is widely nested in by tiny little shrimp" - Joel
The disappearing snow What some of the victims of the crime say: Sarah says: "It all happened so fast. For a couple days it was here, and then, Poof! It was gone." Rachel says: "It was so close, it only had one day left from being a full week of snow." As you probably know, (because if you don't you probably joined the random person living in a cave that has wifi and lots of chocolate), it snowed from Friday 2 weeks ago to last Thursday, but then the unthinkable happened, it melted, leaving kids and their parents hopelessly having to go to school on the last day of the week. But since we just covered that, that leaves one question: "Where did the snow go?" Well, DeVyldere researchers (A.K.A Keturah DeVyldere) have come to the conclusion that somehow the snow melted into water and went through the drains and out into the ocean, either that or the people in each town came in the middle of the night with vacuum cleaners came and cleaned it up. Either one is highly probable, so now you know where the snow went. Anonymous tip: There is a squirrel living in our Christmas tree.
Micah V.S surgery A few weeks ago Micah broke his wrist while playing ultimate frisbee, and last Saturday he had surgery on it. He got there at 6 in morning and had surgery at roughly 10:30 (please note that we did not get the exact times on this.) The surgery went well and Micah's hand is getting better now. And whenever anyone asks him what happened he just says he is part cyborg now.
Rumor column Our mailman is Canadian. Our new candles are as soft as bunnies. (Keturah.) M**** is paying us to keep his/her name out of here.
The weekly Chuck Norris joke: Chuck Norris can pass an eye exam.....Blindfolded!
Our mailman, Canadian or not There is a rumor going around that our mailman is Canadian, so I decided to take this head on and talk about the evidence for it and against it. So here it is: For: On Canadian thanksgiving our mail man did not come. Against: It was also Columbus day. For: He didn't come on Canadian Labor day either. Against: Because it was also American Labor day. For: He looks like he's Canadian. Against: No he doesn't. For: Cookie barks at him. She barks at Canadians. Against: Cookie barks at everyone. So, as you can see, it is still undecided, but I'll tell you if we come to a final conclusion. Just don't hold your breath, there has been a feud about this since last year.
News flash (Did you know) That Keturah turned five yesterday? That Grace D. started basketball tournaments? That Keturah and Jewel are now working as Ezra's body guards? Now you know
I hope you enjoyed The Weekly Comet
