The Weekly Comet 13 (comments and criticisms welcome)

As you may know, the Bass Barn was moved around a year ago from it's old place in Tangent which was right next to city hall, and placed just about half a mile away, because some people bought it. But what you probably don't know is that after the move it was renamed the "Bourdon Bass Barn" because of something to do with it's owners. And lots of weddings/business meetings will be held there. Pics will be uploaded when it's finished remodeling, which will hopefully be soon.
New washers and dryers Guess what?! Wait, no, I'll tell you. We are getting new washers and dryers! They are coming in sometime today, and everybody is really excited about them. They will be stacked, so we will have more room in the laundry room, and they are black and dark gray, just like batman! It will be sad to say goodbye to our old washers and dryers, but we got six years out of them, and we were supposed to only get 3 at tops, plus, we didn't name them yet, so it will be easier to part with them. Which brings me to the point, names! The votes are in, and the new washers and dryers' names are going to be: Washer 1:Jelly Dryer 1: Lazer. Washer 2: Cora. Dryer 2: Simon.
Anonymous tip: Grace is directing a silent movie called "Up the tree."
Rumor column There's a new playset at the school a few blocks away from the DeVyldere household. We named the washers and dryers before they came. There's going to be a sequel to the silent movie called "Down the well."
News flash (Did you know?) That Keturah is trying to make a chocolate fountain? That the Oregon state flower is a grape? That grapes aren't flowers? Now you know